What we have done is taken all of our Greg Smith’s, broken them up into little pieces, and bundled those pieces into what we call ‘Winning Mixture Derivatives’. These WMDs will provide our investors with the security of knowing they own a piece of paper…
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Unconfirmed reports indicate that Capitol police have called for a hostage negotiator to respond to an ongoing situation in the Capitol building in which House Speaker John Boehner and Majority Leader Eric Cantor have barricaded themselves in a conference room, demanding that they be joined there by Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell along with President Obama… The move, aimed at increasing deposits based on currencies that experts believe will still exist 2-3 years from now is seen as a major blow to Bank of America and other U.S. banks who recently announced plans to make up for the shortfall created by the recent outlawing of excessive fees they charge merchants for processing debit card transactions. Should Congress continue as normal with its summer recess, or return to Washington to work on the myriad of crises facing the country? It appears that the people are as divided on this issue as their representatives are on everything else, albeit with a far more civil tone. The uncertainty caused by the present U.S. climate … results from uneasiness on the part of investors that a representative democracy can adequately function without compromise. Or to put it in layman’s terms, ‘the fastest way to find a bottom is to put a bunch of assholes in charge’.” While most of you — as well as most of us — will agree that we really ‘don’t give a rat’s ass’ about our bosses, their children, their lives, and all of that drivel, they nonetheless control the collective professional fates of we, your devoted servants… Calling it “an effort to find middle ground” with Democrats and the President, House Speaker John Boehner today broke with the majority of his party and stated his willingness to support one measure that would increase taxes: a tax on any individual or couple describing themselves as gay or lesbian. House Speaker John Boehner and Majority Leader Eric Cantor vehemently denied any prior knowledge of illegal activity or attempted cover-up by anyone on Capitol Hill, adding, “We are not crooks.” While in the past, I have gone to financial institutions or – if necessary – friends and/or family to secure loans in order to stay current, ‘greater minds than mine’ have informed me that these actions have been irresponsible. Arguing that the impending Congressional battle over the national debt ceiling underscores the need for U.S. currency to be backed by tangible assets, House Speaker John Boehner introduced legislation today that would tie the value of the dollar not to gold or silver, as was done in the past, but rather directly to the people of the United States. |
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