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Limbaugh Travels to Canada for Surgery

During the procedure, known as a ‘liprectumy’ and performed under local anesthesia, surgeons successfully removed the lips of RNC Chairman Michael Steele and Georgia Representative Phil Gingrey from the porcine pill-popper’s considerable ass.

GOP, Fox News Announce Merger

Prompted by a report from Media Matters for America suggesting that Fox News represented a release from the Senate Republican Communications Center as its own research, Fox News and GOP officials confirmed today that they have agreed to terms on a merger.

Limbaugh Proposes ‘Bipartisan Presidency’

Reiterating the theme of his “54-46″ proposed spending allocation for the economic stimulus package, Limbaugh today challenged President Obama to “put up or shut up” on his pledge of bringing true bipartisanship to Washington by allocating the office of the Presidency itself according to the popular vote from the November election.

Emotional Bush In ‘Mea Culpa’

“It’s been eight years. I have tried, and I have failed. I see now that my policies and my methods were wrong. I am ultimately responsible – all the important decisions were mine and mine alone to make. All I can say now to the American people is that I am truly, deeply sorry.”

McCain Accuses Obama of Being a Democrat

In a stunning development described by political analysts as “the conservative version of going postal,” Senator John McCain today referred to his opponent for the White House, as “a Democrat”.