The two former governors – whose vote totals combined still fell 8% short of Cain’s among the 2,657 cast – issued their first, and presumably last, joint statement saying, “The people have spoken and their message has been received – loud and clear.” They also congratulated Jon Huntsman on his victory.
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Under the most bizarre of circumstances, Sarah Palin announced this morning that she has decided to endorse Texas Governor Rick Perry for President in the 2012 elections… The much-anticipated document drop, described by Juniper Toomey (an Alaska state official who spoke on condition of anonymity) as “Wikileaks Meets the Weekly Reader”, resulted from numerous Freedom of Information Act requests initially challenged by the grammatically challenged former governor. I am writing in the hopes of bringing to your attention a perspective regarding political rhetoric and the use of hyperbole which I have found shockingly absent in the views and opinions expressed from all sides — liberal and conservative, pundits, politicians and media — in the current national debate prompted by the horrific crimes committed in Tucson on January 8th. In an exclusive interview with fellow Fox News personality Sean Hannity scheduled to air this evening, former half-term Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is certain to stir up even more controversy with a surprisingly blunt attack against those who have recently criticized her use of violent rhetoric. Gambling that a mountain of circumstantial evidence correctly leads to the conclusion that Sarah Palin’s name has never appeared in a headline that she didn’t like, and that the former Alaska Governor will publicly respond to any controversial or politically incorrect comment which allows her to portray either herself or her family as the victim(s), a chronically underemployed liberal New York blogger today stated publicly his opinion that “the woman is a retard”. According to sources close to the negotiations, former Alaska Governor and unlikely best-selling author Sarah Palin is close to reaching a deal that would make her the nation’s first-ever salaried Presidential candidate. Stuart Grantcart, a socialist Obama administration mole planted inside FreedomWorks who spoke on condition of anonymity, confirmed that Palin’s representatives have had several meetings with FreedomWorks board members Former Vice President Dick Cheney warned children at a petting zoo that, “The President acting as an apologist for one of our most sacred national holidays sends a message of weakness that will only embolden our enemies and threatens the safety and security of every American.” Say it ain’t so Joe. With all the humility of a peacock in full feather, a saddened Paula Abdul announced her departure from ‘American Idol’ last night, telling her millions of fans and other shut-ins via Twitter, “I’ll miss nurturing all the new talent, but most of all being a part of a show that I helped from day 1 become an international phenomenon.” A stunned nation is grappling with its emotions — and Lebanese officials, who [...] |
    
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